Collateral

Collateral

(it was dark when I first noticed you
I tried to let go but something kept me in
trying to hold on is a trick
your shade was trapped in the heart of my brain
never say it again.... never try it again
you go ill never follow you ....if you stay I’ll never be there
you and me won’t meet
oh... we are collateral

oh... collateral
how sad we don't meet
we work within a scene
we sing for the same dream
we lie escaping from the theme

but I feel you like in every way
cannot you see it we are collateral
we could be far but you collapse my heart
it's not that you have super powers
but the avalanche you create can break us down into a one soul
where collateral won’t fight us we will always be feared
every time I remind myself with what is real I tear
can you tell me when the ice will break down
can you tell how much longer should I wait

oh... collateral

Where is the near short cut?

Where is the near short cut?

With a knife scissor and gun

I took the road where I m completely blind deaf

My life has new characters that I’m not   familiar with

Where is the near short cut?

Is it a new page, word, smile

Or one with nothing but me ruling in my Nile

No words can be written and no notes hitting

Where is the near short cut?

I have no color no face no heart

Translucent to the rays of sun

What is sun if I cannot see?

And what are rays if I don’t even feel

Waiting for me to paint my fear

Who are you, wait are you my short cut?

Although the knife won’t cut the nearest canvas

I can cross the nearest sadness

To reach my blank me with honor

I’m building my temple shelter and me is the donor  

The one I gave up to fate once my brain drained

I went down and caught the pieces of cutting knife

What is steel if I don’t die?

What is concrete if my temples sigh?

No I’m wrong... My temple will always fight

Because me is no more signing for a short cut

I fear it now

Oh wait …

Where is the near short cut?

Where are ball, pencil and sand?

All I can see is blind

All I can feel is hard

Where is the near short cut?

The cut the knife won’t recognize

The short with no Taylor can design

Wait do I mean what I mean

Or am I losing my short cut dice

Oh my brain …..You fooled me twice

A blank minded cup of coffee

A special someone once told me “The novelist is inviting the reader to watch a performance in his own brain” and this time I decided to do so, to let you….. Whoever you are …….. Wherever you are standing ………..and whatever you are working on; to explore my wish that lasts only for ten minutes each day, this wish is to have “a blank minded cup of coffee”.

It’s interesting how the human’s brain works; it’s the most complex of organs, boasting between 50-100 billion nerve cells or neurons that constantly interact with each other. These neurons ‘carry’ messages through electrochemical processes; meaning, ideas in our mind move in and out of these cells and establish a formation of a thought constantly. what is unique and quite interesting that the message which the brain carries is not like any message, it is “the message” that can make your day or the one which can turn your day into a living hell, I always describe it as MAPS OF IDEAS; as one idea opens a gate of ideas and you can continue the saga.

The great dilemma is that I always crave for coffee in the morning, afternoon or evening it makes me really happy as well as enjoying different flavors of coffee, breathless smell, non- describable taste.

Ironically, the combination of the caffeine and my brain are one hell of a mix! The messages are more hyper and at the same time coffee is soothing, relaxing to some extent! The best part that I know all of that but I still drink from the coffee! It makes you numb for a while, but during no one can force the rush of ideas to stop!

Good enough! You know that this feeling won’t last forever and so do the rush of ideas! As every time I decide to hold my cup of coffee no matter where I am either the most relaxing place or the most crowded one! I will always have the same crowded ten minutes of thoughts.

My ideas are not about one subject, but they are always concerned about global, regional issues rarely personal, never selfish similar to the conflicts in real life but smaller scale in my mind during these ten minutes! So what I usually do! I throw my cup of coffee and I end this frustration with the same statement “I have never ever finished a cup of coffee”.

And I want for once to finish my coffee without feeling guilty every sip I take , without thinking that I want to jump out of my cloths because I do not know what to do…….. Without feeling sad that I am far from solving any of these issues!

And some days I end it up without even buying a cup of coffee because it makes me feel useless, inconsiderate, and selfish.

So the pleasure of having a drug of soothing caffeine is gone, drift far away because as I feel well I feel worse!

I wish I would finish my ten minutes drinking my coffee blank minded enjoying the experience. 

Never has been as easy as it seems!

Being persuasive, dedicated and fulfiller to your passion, love, or anything that brings ultimate joy to your life is not an easy thing as it seems during watching the same experience in a movie or reading it in a  novel, what they want is to pulse you with positive vibe, good karma in order to push you forward accomplishing what you really  love, but the interesting part is that they hide how much struggle a person can go through during accomplishing it, and by struggle I don’t mean obstacles from outer environment, exclusively they are  the inner environment, obstacles that live within you, as a human towards his passion.

Once you decide that this is what you really want trust me all the powers in the universe will work it out with you simultaneously but most importantly in my point of view, that you shouldn’t loose enthusiasm towards it not because it’s forbidden or unexpected it’s absolutely the opposite.

It’s normal that at some points you would lose some joy, passion, dedication and interests but at the same time, trust me; you have just reached the "peak point", the plot, and what would make your work unique, creative and extra-ordinary version of who you are, in my perspective whenever you reach this phase you should be blessed ,thankful for god because the inner human power inside is trying to stretch your skills throughout  new levels of commitment it is similar to using muscles you haven’t used before in your body  it is new at the begging and depressing at the intermediate phase and distinguished at the end, so reaching the peak point in your passion either your job, your hobby, your favorite habit of all times, it is a sign that you should break the limit, expand your love, and target hidden places in the horizon, never feel down because any human emotions at this point are accepted and never new, therefore no matter how emotionally devastated you are how vulnerable your skills seem to be, it is totally the case when you are looking for new skin ,new tools and new atmosphere to contain your unexpected human power , then to be able to fly your passion to the ultimate sky above you.

At anytime you fear you will totally heal and whenever you see you’ll forget and whenever you try you will never regret. Personally I easily take it like this everything around us grow  in an unlimited elastic boundaries and never solid because otherwise there would be absolutely no place for Einstein, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Edison, Alexander graham bell, Clearly we will never accept experiments, trails, give chances, and killing will be number one of all human rights so don’t draw boundaries that don’t exist the only boundaries around you are all in your head and remember there is always another entry, exit and upper floor and a room next you, as well as open spaces all over you waiting for the architect within you to plan it up!

Always give your thoughts a breather to exhale and inhale , always be open to new emotions through any experience, ask yourself why but never put the blame on you ! Because the “you” are trying to observe the explicit of information around you so it would filter it within your identity then expressing it throughout your passion in life (what is obvious for others).